Ultra-Ghetto Products

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This is a page for our Ultra-Ghetto Products and Services.

Take a few minutes to see if there's anything that can add a little needed Ghetto into your daily life!

We will be adding new wonderfully Ghetto-Fied Advertisements and services as often as we can. But in the meantime...

Do you ever look at your dog and think, " What a piece of SH*T dog!"

Well, I did. I mean, just take a look at her.

This was my dog just a few weeks ago. Puny, worthless, if she bit ya, ya probably wouldn't even notice. All she ever seemed to do was eat, sleep, and poop! I couldn't even let her in the house because she would get so excited that she'd pee everywhere! It was a dog lover's nightmare, and yes, I was living it! Until...

I discovered the new Ultra-Fied Brand of dog food that's guaranteed to Ultra-Fie any dog in just hours! No, folks, I'm not talking about one of those Veterinarian recommended diets that's supposed to boost your pet's energy, or help w/nutritional values. I'm talkin' about the all new line of products by Ultra-Ficated Mills!!!

That's right, this is a miracle food that really works! And you don't have to take my word for it, here's the proof.

Here's the product:

After only two days of feeding my dog this amazing Ultra-Fied Food, she literally tripled in size, stamina, and it even made her more obedient!

Just see for your self. You've seen the above picture of my puny dog. But now she looks like this...

Does it work, absolutely! Does she like it, absolutely! Is it safe... i don't know.

It worked wonders for my little pooch! It can do the same for you! I guarantee it!

And if it doesn't work, you'll get quadruple your money back, that's right folks, I am so sure that you will be totally satis-Fied w/this doggy diet, that I'm willin' to go broke to prove it!

Just copy the form below and print it out, then mail it in w/the correct amount of the sale (please include sales tax).

***Oh, and please be sure to read all of the fine print at the bottom of this advertisement!***

Name:______________________________

Age:________________________________

Level of Ignorance:___________________<-- How stupid are you?

Credit Card:_________________________

Credit Card Number:______________________ Exp. Date:__-__-_____

Sexual Preference:________________________

Do You Like Onions?:______

Do you smoke crack, or something?:________

Did you read the fine print?:____ (verification required prior to purchase)

What came first, the chicken, or the wart-hog?_______________________

Fine Print:

the above advertisement is fake.

Only the most ignorant of human beings would believe that crap.

But it was funny so it's on our web site.

And, even if it was real, the offer would not be available to anyone in the milky way galaxy.

I hope you enjoyed it, but it was BULLSH*T.

Than you.

*Ultra-Ficated Mills

2002


	The Ultra-Fied Zone \| home About Us Peoples \| Latest News \| Ghetto-Tastic Recipes \| Party Time \| Friends and Relatives \| Contact Us \| Ultra-Ghetto Products Ultra-Ghetto Products This is a page for our Ultra-Ghetto Products and Services. Take a few minutes to see if there's anything that can add a little needed Ghetto into your daily life! We will be adding new wonderfully Ghetto-Fied Advertisements and services as often as we can. But in the meantime... *Do you ever look at your dog and think, " What a piece of SHT dog!" Well, I did. I mean, just take a look at her. This was my dog just a few weeks ago. Puny, worthless, if she bit ya, ya probably wouldn't even notice. All she ever seemed to do was eat, sleep, and poop! I couldn't even let her in the house because she would get so excited that she'd pee everywhere! It was a dog lover's nightmare, and yes, I was living it! Until... I discovered the new Ultra-Fied Brand of dog food that's guaranteed to Ultra-Fie any dog in just hours! No, folks, I'm not talking about one of those Veterinarian recommended diets that's supposed to boost your pet's energy, or help w/nutritional values. I'm talkin' about the all new line of products by Ultra-Ficated Mills!!! That's right, this is a miracle food that really works! And you don't have to take my word for it, here's the proof. Here's the product: After only two days of feeding my dog this amazing Ultra-Fied Food, she literally tripled in size, stamina, and it even made her more obedient! Just see for your self. You've seen the above picture of my puny dog. But now she looks like this... Does it work, absolutely! Does she like it, absolutely! Is it safe... i don't know. It worked wonders for my little pooch! It can do the same for you! I guarantee it! And if it doesn't work, you'll get quadruple your money back, that's right folks, I am so sure that you will be totally satis-Fied w/this doggy diet, that I'm willin' to go broke to prove it! Just copy the form below and print it out, then mail it in w/the correct amount of the sale (please include sales tax). *Oh, and please be sure to read all of the fine print at the bottom of this advertisement!* Name:______________________________ Age:________________________________ Level of Ignorance:___________________<-- How stupid are you? Credit Card:_________________________ Credit Card Number:______________________ Exp. Date:__-__-_____ Sexual Preference:________________________ Do You Like Onions?:______ Do you smoke crack, or something?:________ Did you read the fine print?:____ (verification required prior to purchase) What came first, the chicken, or the wart-hog?_______________________ Fine Print: the above advertisement is fake. Only the most ignorant of human beings would believe that crap. But it was funny so it's on our web site. And, even if it was real, the offer would not be available to anyone in the milky way galaxy. I hope you enjoyed it, but it was BULLSHT.* Than you. Ultra-Ficated Mills 2002*